Why we don’t trust our children:
We, the parents, treat the children with a misconception that if children have to succeed and act well, we have to teach them all the needed conduct. If we don’t, our anxiety takes an upward spiral concluding that children would fail if we don’t take the guiding and teaching tasks quickly in our hands. We go about stubbornly with the fact they have to follow my instructions: mine is the right way.
A proud and healthy child is one who enjoys huge trust reserves of their parents.
And children will like to grow with eagerness to live up to the expectations of their parents and seek to work every day to strengthen them.
Practice trusting the children:
The secret is to know how to listen to your child, listening goes a long way, and it’s a bonding skill that induces the glue to bring a parent and child together. It’s mutually satisfying activity that sets the tune right to their rhythms, communications styles, moods and emotional difficulties.
One big benefit we get from listening is the willingness of the child to talk to you; they would confide their truths, fears because of the trust they recognize when you are there to listen.
The reality is you have to first trust them and then invite them to get to trust you.
For example, at the time of going to school, you have two manners of choices to follow:
Choice 1: You are late, you have got only ten minutes, where your shoes are, did you complete the home-work, where is your tiffin-box, run it’s late already, keep your crayons in the bag,
Choice 2: You have ten more minutes for school; arrange what you need in the bag, I’ll wait in the car.
In the choice one, the parent uses the form of words which undermines the trust we need to show toward our child, not sure if the child can act independently of his own. This hesitating attitude dries up the layer of natural trust that surrounds the child most of the time.
Children follow what their parents do; they get into your footsteps instinctively even if you aren’t aware of it. So remember what you expect as an adult – the measure of trust is similarly what your child expects as a kid in all day-to-day actions.
There are chances despite a parent’s good efforts to invest in good time in trust, have patience, put in a lot of practice to teach the required skills if the child still doesn’t obey, and infuriates you. What’re the next options closest to you?
Give him more responsibility: Speak to him, have patience, shows them a way how they can stay independent and responsible, like an alarm clock to wake up on time, peel-off reminder stickers to warn him about the works to get completed.
Work out a routine or work out a system to work together, plan everything, expect what could go wrong and be there to remind the child about the tasks to be completed, responsibilities to be fulfilled every day.
Having trust is important; it is the major building block for a healthy growth of any child and the formation of a good relationship between a parent and a child. It strengthens the bonding and promotes cooperation and reduces a rebellion in a child.