Children are born with liveliness; they smile brightly and are alert, full of wonder and curiosity. It is their natural form of growing until parents with their fears start interfering, putting up complications. I say this marks the beginning of parental efforts to dominate the way the children progress. Consequently, it is the worry and timidity filling the little minds demotivating them to lose their inborn vibrancy.
In this context, let’s review what the children need and expect from parents.
Parents need to come out of their fears that only hinder the natural blooming of children’s inborn skills. Their controlling behaviour obstructs the children from encouraging a supporting attitude that sustains the development of physical, emotional, and mental capacities.
It’s easy for parents pressurizing the children to comply with ideas on how they should lead their life, what they must study; with a conditioned thought, we assume it’s the only way children would flourish.
Children expect parents to understand that the need for deep trust in their capacity of self-realization; that they are capable of self-motivating themselves more than parents could understand. Further, they wish and appeal: allow us to enjoy the vigour and courage with which we can move forward, meeting the challenges in the natural way we were gifted and useful.
Parents never understand the consequences, the negative impact of their deep-seated fear it creates while controlling the children. Our care represented in a series of instructions: you are not doing that, you are not right, not getting good grades, you have wrong friends. And we assert; we are doing it for you.
Children expect that parents don’t place their anxieties about their steps forward towards self-initiation, where children attempt to script their own path compatible with their likes and strengths.
Parents mostly act as if they were captive to the societal standards were its yardsticks define the success in life. They make their lives busy and eagerly commit to controlling the children’s lives, pushing and organising and achieving so they measure up to the social norms and standards. Like scoring high marks, earning good grades, entering the right schools, and later stepping into honourable colleges.
Parents need to realize the fact it’s we who dream about the future. In contrast, children always busy immersed in the now and the present. Driving their interests in what’s happening at this moment in their lives, children are never internally wired to look beyond today.
Children, when seen alone, or in the playgrounds’, they involve themselves privately beyond anyone’s care. They’re seen consumed by the freedom at that moment, claim their right of enjoyment, power of running wild in their way. We see them, comfortable, not bound by the code of society or opinions of parents. They are born to enjoy life moment by moment, unlike their parents not focused on the future and beyond. Thinking about future kills for them the excitement of the present.
When children believe they are worthy and get a sense from parents to give them adequate importance as a person, they develop a solid understanding of self, grow as powerful individuals. Parents need to take note that we must connect with children not as a replica of what we are or as a character we imagine who they need to be or the career they need to climb. But it’s good to note that children live as individuals with a mind of their own, humming with dynamic ideas and living in the moment.
We can gain this mindset by a genuine interest in their activities, communicating their role in the family, authentic interactions with them, directing our attention, not waiting until they would ask for it.
This attitude of parents introduces in the children a genuine enthusiasm to guide their energies and focus their attention. This further translates into a natural interest they find acceptable to grow along with and may manifest in future as love for success in life.